Humor Post...

Here's a couple for really bad, groan jokes that I found on the net. Enjoy if you can!!

What is red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator
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Two ships, one carrying red paint and one carrying blue paint, collided. All of the sailors were marooned.
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In the news: "A Cessna 152 training aircraft crashed into the cemetery. 253 bodies recovered so far."
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What'd the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?

Dam!
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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole?

Phil.
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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russel.
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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a backwater?

Eddy
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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in space?

Anything you want, but it won't matter. He can't hear you.
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There's these two goldfish in a tank, and one turns to the other and says...

So, do you know how to drive this thing?
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What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk!
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What do you call a fly with no wings and no legs?

A look!
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What do you call a fly with no wings no legs AND no eyes?

A raisin!
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What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.
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Why did the frog cross the road?

It was stapled to the chicken.
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How can you tell if an elephant's been in your refrigerator?

Footprints in the peanut butter.
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How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?

Two sets of footprints, side by side.
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How many giraffes will fit in the refrigerator?

None. There are too many elephants in there.
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How do you get an elephant into a Volkswagen?

Open door, insert elephant, shut door.
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How do you get four elephants into a Volkswagen?

Two in the front, two in the back.
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How can you tell if an elephant is visiting your house?

There's a Volkswagen in your driveway with 3 elephants in it.
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Why did the Eskimo wash his clothes in Tide?

Because it was too cold to wash them out-tide!
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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where's my tractor?!
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What would Marilyn Monroe be doing now if she were alive?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
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what do you call a fish with no eyes?

fsh
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what do you call a pig with three eyes?

piiig
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What is a foot long and slippery...

A SLIPPER!


And finally, no Spidey 2 yesterday. Looks like Spidey 2 is jinxed for you, pal.